On raving kids

My four year old boy has been constantly raving, like there’s no tomorrow. His little body is filled with unlimited energy that i have yet to find the source. However, recently he is slightly calmer than usual since implementing the crafts time and treats board. Is it really getting better because in few months time he’s gonna be five? FIVE! How fast time goes when you are really busy, Oh yes dammit I am busy tending on every needs, tantrums, rants, crankiness and tears. But with sorrow comes laughter and happiness.

Then I knew its too good to be true when the why’s made their way back,, the too much talking, the attitude and the temper. My boy, answers back when I try to tell him off and weasels his way out when he feels he is in trouble. How easy it was when he was a baby, when all he could do was eat..sleep..and..poop. But with the doom and gloom of parenting comes good days too. He is interested in various things, especially MATH, which almighty creator I’m really bad at. He understands the concept of more than and less than which is so cool. He is also interested in science and we are introducing The neverhood which he is so keen in learning, he is so fascinated in solving every puzzle in it. 

I remember before the school breaks for their kerstvakantie (christmas break) they were asked to bring a toy in school, he could have chosen his robot or his car, or his trains but no! my boy chose his little microscope so he can show everybody how it works and to discover things in the garden. Boy i’m so glad i’m raising a potential geek.

I like all his innocent questions and convictions that every child in the area is his friend, and that they describe him in school as friendly and nice. But I feel sometimes I say too much NO to him that sometimes he just shuts off and there goes the temper, I am trying my very best to go easy on him but he was in a phase where he would ignore potential unbeneficial things and just do otherwise. These days, the raving died down a bit, I see more focus and less nagging. Let’s see, it’s still early days.

My 14 almost 15 months old toddler has a mind of her own, she climbs, climbs, climbs and climbs some more. You’ll think than once she falls she’ll learn but NO she never does, and does it again. My poor wee heart it leaps everytime I see her on top of the couch or on top of the goddamn slide (excuses for my potty mouth). But hey learning, it’s all part of it.

She recently discovered the art of tantruming, almighty father it is starting so early that I cannot even prepare for what’s to come. I am just starting to pick myself up and re energise myself from all the tantruming her brother had and now THIS?! What kind of sorcery is this? I cannot get my head around it just yet.

I’ve noticed that she is starting to talk and imitate sounds such as AJ when she is really pissed off me. Like when she wakes up in the morning instead of saying MOM im up she says AJ, AJ,, AAAAAAAJJJJJ! what a rude little girl, SMH..

She started saying dad, dada, yuya (for kuya, or big brother, in filipino), caaaar, papa(food), dodo(milk), mamam(water), nana(banana), AJ for when I’m in trouble, mom, mmmma(oma), tetek(to call for chickens, i blame Luke for this) and so much more. I cannot believe that she is so expressive of her feelings that she feels the need to tantrum and rave everytime. But you know, parenting we all have bad days and good days, these days are meh.

While some people kept on asking and comparing A to other kids, why she hasn’t started walkng yet, well kids has their own pace and at the moment she is more interested in talking and not walking. She is currently intersted in building Lego blocks, playing with trucks and trying to cook his dolls. She is trying to build up her self confidence which is really good and she is working hard to perfect the art of tantruming. 

So people before you say anything about my children, please please put yourselves on my shoe and welcome to my world.

And p.s to the person wwho kept calling my children names such as half breeds etc. Well these are the prettiest half breeds I know so before you say derogatory remarks about my children gosh I’m just lucky you are not the parents of these lovelies. 😀

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Not getting into the circle

It’s hard. It’s goddamn hard to break into the circle, believe me I tried, it didn’t work, so I gave up and it’s the best decision ever. 

I always have this positive outlook  that after a while I will be mom-dating again, ah well..that failed. The Dutch circle is damn hard to break. If you don’t speak dutch then butt the hell out, well for my experience that is. 

But it makes me happy because I can learn a new hobby, have quiet times, and learn to love what I have and it works. I run and it feels good. I learn new things and that’s great. I don’t have to go through the stress of forcing my way in the mommy’s circle in school. 

I don’t have to prove people anything. I am just happy to get on with my life and that’s about it. It’s hard to communicate to people who assume the worse in you such as ‘she’s not trying hard enough to learn the language look’ with that il respond baby steps darling, baby steps. I cannot run before I can walk can I?. But in reality, if I say Hoi, Hallo, hoe gaat het, I just get a grunt or a look and a look away. Jesus miserable horses whatever is wrong with just responding back, can we not be merry at times? Such miserable crazy people, so I gave up.

I am one of those moms who waits quietly in one corner and say hello even without getting responses, because I don’t need responses. I am just happy to look at these moms having friends and love on my boy.

It’s sad though because if I cannot get in these circle that means no playdates for my boy but it doesn’t matter he seems thriving enough in school and that’s the main thing. 

I just don’t understand how difficult it is, but yeah one step at a time. One day I’m going to learn dutch properly and everything will be a breeze..maybe, just maybe. 

#Eva the Adventurer

Eva was written to support a very important cause and to help fund a cure for NKH (non- ketotic hyperglycinemia), it is a rare  and terminal metabolic disorder. The book was written by our good friend Elly Gedye which has a whopping 32 translations, 32!!!

By buying this book you are not only helping fund a cure but you are also making a difference. This book of all things is the most amazing book, no gender stereotyping and the child (Eva) can do whatever she imagines. It is fun for children and it is a fun read for adults too. Eva while pretending to play with her toys is imagining something out of this world. Its amazing how Elly portrayed the pretend play on the other page and coincides that page with another page with the child’s imagination. Elly is a proper genius making this book, because by making a toy the children grows out of it, but this book grows with the child and maybe we just really prefer books?. And as a friend (we met through my husband, whose Elly’s friend really, but I fell in love with her and her little family, they are awesome, right?) we are super proud of Elly, what do they say? It takes a smart person to solve a complex problem but a genius to solve a simple one. Elly and Sam are both. They are trying to solve a complex problem by fundraising and a genius for making a simple but extraordinary book.

The book also has easter eggs, such as the bus page, it says MGH that is Kai’s name (Mikaere Grant Hulance) and the numbers is his birthday. The destination of the bus is the place where the person lives (as for the dutch version that is, that is just a theory).  Anyway, some versions are not that perfect but two heads are better than one right? We spot a problem we tell her, one version is not better than the other. If the translation is not that perfect pardon me, but the English version is surely. But everything will be perfect in time 🙂

If you are interested, I hope you will and you are, the book is available in:

Amazon
I will also include the link:

http://booksforwednesdays.com/

https://www.amazon.de/gp/aw/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?k=eva+the+adventurer

And you can also follow :

http://www.teammikaere.com/

for blog updates, donations and lovely photos of Kai

we fell in love with him and you will too, that’s for sure

Lukie @ 4

June 14, 2017

Dorking, Surrey
4 years old!

Dear Lukie,


As I sit down to write your  birthday letter this year I am struck by something that makes me both excited and a bit sad at the same time–you are no longer a baby. How time flies, I feel like I just held you in my arms yesterday, so Diddy and sweet. 4 years later I am starting to see that you have grown fearfully and wonderfully, you are a unique person starting to reclaim your independence and develop your own personality. I am proud of you as always.

Now that you’ve grown, I see and hear you more and more each passing day- it is you that makes you my Lukie. You are super outgoing, confident, friendly, brave, strong, adventurous, hardworking and loving. I am very grateful that despite the hardships and struggles of our daily lives I get to watch you grow into you each day.

This has been a significantly big year for you, you have adapted to all the changes, challenges and adventures that we threw at you, there have been lots of them and there will be more to come my lieveling 😘. From having your baby sister in October which wasn’t easy for you but you dealt with it like a rock star, to travelling and moving about. I am super proud of you for handling everything like a pro, In every new place, situation, challenges and milestones you embraced the changes and carried on with confidence, just to remind you we will always be few steps behind you but we will always be there to catch you when you fall and to guide you in every step of the way. You were quick to make new friends and explore the surroundings around you. I am sure that these things will always be a part of your life.

In about a month and a bit we will be moving to a completely different place, different country, different people, different language- everything will be different, this then will be your new abode, 3rd house in 4 years! Everyday I feel you when you tell me how you’ll miss calling out your friends and aunties in the neighbourhood,  you spend most of everyday playing in the garden calling out Leon or granny, walking to the forests nearby, cycling and racing with your friends on your bicycles and inviting friends over for play dates (your best friend is Leon, and you two play at each others houses, mostly at Leon’s everyday).

When you aren’t playing outside, you enjoy singing, reading books, playing and building with your mega bloks. You enjoy pretend play and you will give us names, for the moment daddy is Norman Price the naughty boy from Fireman Sam, you kept calling me Elvis because I dance and sing a lot to cheer you up and you call your beautiful sister Station Officer Steele maybe because she is a teeny bit bossy.

You play football although you aren’t really a ball person but for the sake of playing you kick the ball with dad, you used to be so obsessed with them that you even take a ball with you as you nap. You love riding your bike especially now that you can do it without stabilisers,  you went for it on the slopes in the skate park with your balance bike, I cannot believe you’ve grown a lot and that you can do all these things, that’s a lot of things learned in just a year.

You even adopted mommy’s baby Elmo and sleeps with you every night, you hug him ever so tightly especially when you get scared. Elmo has become your friend and your clown protector. At this stage you still move to our bedroom just for the sake of getting cuddles at night which I like.


And, as far as protectors go, you are starting to be quite a good one yourself! You love your little sister so much and, when you aren’t trying to wrestle her or steal her toys, you are very caring toward her. You insist on being the one to go get Ash up from her nap every day. I stand outside the door when you go in to get her and I love listening to you greet her with “Good morning, Bussy!”. I hope that this bond and love you have for each other stays the same as time goes by.

Lukie, my boy, it has been a joy watching you grow and change and mature this year. I am so pleased with the boy that you are, and I can’t wait to see the man who you become some day.

Today is your birthday and that your future would be as bright and magnificent as your little 4-year old dreams. That you would continue to grow into YOU with the joy that comes with it.

Lukie, you are no longer a baby. What you are is a gift, a blessing, a privilege. You are no longer a baby, but as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be. Thank you for letting me be your mommy.

I love you most!

Mommy

P.s : Daddy and Ash loves you too, not only this much but to infinity and beyond. 

The Three-nager

So we made it through babyhood, terrible two’s and about to graduate with the three-nager stage, it was dreadful, it was tormenting, it was fun. I heard from a friend who survived the trenches like us and has survived to tell the story, the best stages of parenthood is yet to come.
So the tormenting three’s huh.. a combination of a three years old energy and mentality but the attitude of teenagers 😊. 
Our son started of his three-nager stage by having little opinion from the start of it and has overgrown towards the end of it. We thought the behaviour is erratic but the fact of the matter is they merely express their opinions with a dash of irrationality and mixed temperament which they are yet to learn to achieve the perfect concoction. 
I remembered when L turned two a lot, even a bucket loads of information about terrible two’s, even warnings from grannies, mommies and bloggers. But where the hell is the unforeseeable predictions about three’s, it took us by surprise,  no one ever saw the tormenting three’s coming.
At 18 months we hear a surge of words that turns to verbal explosion, and at three’s? It’s not only a surge in length but a surge in why’s and a surge of bossiness.  It’s a surge of tormenting everything. But still the love prevails right?!
Common scene at home:
M: What do you want for breakfast? 
L: Toast with Jam please mommy, I want it cut like a triangle. 
M: WHY ARE YOU NOT EATING?!
L: hugggggggyyyyyyy,  hugggggggyyyyyyy,  hugggggggyyyyyyy..the shape is not right, uh uh uh, I want water please, uhm I want this I want that
M: (on the verge of shouting) eat now or il take it away.
Dealing with lots of tormenting situations at home made me well proofed for this. Sometimes I ignore the fact that he whines then he’ll eat it anyway, but I am not a perfect parent and I lose my rag sometimes.
I mean my son is very responsible, polite, outspoken (a little too much sometimes) and kind but he has his days too. There are days where he will absolutely cry for everything, have we been such naggy parents that we created a little diva, a little drama king, but hey these too shall pass.
The hardest part is, trying to negotiate  a deal but he would stop listening half way, is it a man thing? I mean selective hearing, my husband sure does that. Or why explaining things they would run, change the topic (he is getting better at it) or just pretend not to listen, but I think they do that selective hearing bit because they learn how to filter which things are beneficial and not beneficial to them. Or sometimes maybe I nag too much and just won’t leave him be. I think I should stop having that bad habit, it’s not healthy.
The best advice I was given by my mother few years ago was that rather than keeping on nagging at them we have to give them a little bit of liberty to decide what they actually want so there is an involvement and connection rather than just barking orders at them. So rather than saying here is your lunch now eat please, I would rather say, Please L what do you want to eat for lunch? We have chicken nuggets and cod fingers. It works out on most days but obviously everyday is different and everyday is interesting.
I made some investigations and found a really cool article from buzz feed. 
1. You live in constant fear of how to cut the shape of their sandwich or toast. Do they want triangles today, rectangles, squares? And when they do tell you, they change their mind right after you cut it.
2. They say things like (with hands firmly placed on hips), “I don’t want to clean up, I want to do what I want to do!”
3. You go through three or more wardrobe changes a day. Please just pick a already!
4. Your child goes boneless the second you remind them that a transition is coming, especially when they are asked to stop playing. By the way, when was this ability given to children? You know, lay limp and double your body weight so mom can’t move you. It’s a talent reminiscent of a possum playing dead…
5. They run away from you when it’s time to get dressed, or leave a play place, or do anything they deem unnecessary. In fact running away from you is their favorite activity.
6. To nap or not to nap, that is the question. A threenager’s answer will always be emphatically “NO!” Unless of course it’s time for school, and they crawl into bed because they’re “tired.”
7. They want three of everything because they are three.
8. At red lights they yell, “Go… GOOO!” Threenagers do not possess patience.
9. Speaking of the car, you have to leave 10 minutes earlier so they can buckle their own car seat by their “OWN SELF!”
10. You realize they’ll be a great trial lawyer one day when they’ve just negotiated their way out of a time-out.
When I saw that post I was laughing so hard in the kitchen that maybe at some point passers by thought I am a lunatic or I completely gone bonkers having to deal with two children, but yeah it’s because I can relate in every single one of them!
So mums we are not alone, take a deep breath, try to see the funny side and if all else fails I find going out is an absolute saviour to get rid of unwanted energy and attitude.

Lost and Found

Every parents greatest fear…losing our children!

So it’s holiday time, we were excited going abroad, seeing family’s,  friends and just the little time off from the routines and hustle and bustle of life.

We started nicely, we had a crazy nagging mood swings angry kinda morning were we almost killed each other before even making it at the airport. I never thought holidays can be such pain in the posterior, you know getting ready, preparing the children, the car, the army of bags and so on. When we made it out of the house it was pure JOY! 

We had a rip off lunch at the airport, it wasn’t that bad to classify as bad, it was mediocre but that’ll do..I’m not complaining but goddamn thing, £20 for 3 sausage rolls jesus almighty lord what just happened. Anyway we calmed ourselves down to the little airport soft play in Gatwick airport, it was rather cozy and the little ones were happy having little things to do.

So on with the flight, the aircraft was f*cking hot and so is my little girl’s head, she’s reached her limits and was really exploding into the most explosive tantrum we’ve seen yet! So yeah everybody’s looking like why the heck can they not tame their child kinda look, so I was trying to be cool calm and collected until the man in front started giving me dirty looks, so I looked back and mouthed fuck off! This is a 7 month old baby, first time in the airplane, overtired, overheating,hungry and her ears are popping, can you not give a child some slack ?! What happened to compassion and empathy.

So we got in Schiphol intact and didn’t make friends whatsoever, I must say the Dutch likes their queues,  massive queue here and there and grumpy tall Dutch people everywhere. Does it really hurt to smile when your working at the airport?! Anyway oh the joy we felt after passport control until we had the scariest experience ever, losing our child in the sea of people in baggage claim and customs! 

15 fucking minutes he was gone, 15 fucking minutes! Those were the longest 15 minutes ever! Won’t go into details how we lost our precious child (because it will open up new comments and topics on how Irresponsible we are!), anyway he was picked up by a lady from the KLM, and upon hearing them speak Dutch he proudly said I am (his name), I speak Dutch and I speak English,  I lost my mommy and daddy, can you please call my mommy her number is in my coat! Once we found him I couldn’t stop crying and it just came into reality the worst nightmare a parent can experience! But I am super proud of him for remembering all the things we taught him, all the while we thought he wasn’t even paying attention, this just shows that he really is and he took the situation calmly and he thought of every single thing to say so he can be reunited with us! Super proud but nerve wracking moment.

So now we got him a buddy tag, so my phone alarm sounds when he goes further than the safety net. So that gives us peace of mind!

FYI.  We are not Irresponsible we try our best to be there for them all the time.

Loving our friends

Yesterday we met up with friends, it was lovely and although we wanted to stay some more it was nearing the kids witching hours,  so we thought we’ll save some stories for next time.

We love seeing our friends, how we miss our friend Larry and we just want to make sure everything is okay with him. He’s been our friend for a long long time but we’ve been super busy with our lives that we haven’t seen each other for nearly a year. So yesterday was a good day, the children enjoyed his company and we had lunch together and it felt like the old times.

Then after lunch we met up with our friends and their beautiful baby boy, his name is Kai and I tell you he is the most handsome boy you’ll ever meet, with those beautiful blue eyes. Ah! I can’t stop looking and loving him, how adorable he is and I got to cuddle him!(super proud!). 

Our children loves them so much especially their brother from another mommy. It’s amazing how fast they grow up, it’s amazing how beautiful they are. It was my first time properly meeting Elly and Sam but oh my goodness they are very kind, loving and warm people. I know I’ve been such a crazy stalker, you know stalking about their lives (because i fell in love with Kai) but I admire these guys so much, with all the things they went and going through, they have lots of positivity in their lives amidst all the challenges they are facing.

If you guys can help, spare a few dollars, or pounds or whatever is your currency, you know every little thing helps, please help us raise money to fund research for nkh (non ketotic hyperglycinemia), please help us find a cure for every child who has this disorder. These children are precious. These children are fighters. These children deserves a better future. These children deserves a cure.

Here is the link for their story so you guys can see how beautiful Kai is, trust me you’ll fall in love with him too:

http://www.teammikaere.com/