Panic Buyer

What’s the difference when shopping pre babies and shopping post babies? Good question, pre babies I like doing it, I find it relaxing having some me time, smelling some scented candles that you won’t bother to buy, going from aisle to aisle, relaxed. Post babies (toddler and a baby),I panic buy, every single time! I just want to get the hell out of the shop before one of the children explodes.

I dread it when I am booked for an appointment, or run an errand may it be to the shops or post office, the dreadful part is? Getting and waiting in the queue. Queues makes my life goddamn miserable, every single time! It’s a tried and tested way to work out how short your fuse is. It is dreadful because at this point the children will reach their melting point, which both the child and excuses (solid and liquid, excuses are liquid because it depends if you can sway them with the fluidity of the excuse or otherwise) exist in equilibrium. The higher the purity of your excuse the smaller the range for a melting point, such as finding a buffer to equalise the already imminent meltdown. Gosh meltdowns are dreadful especially when it happens around strangers, all eyes on you smirking or taking pity on you, adding up to the already escalating stress levels. 

There are days when I take them to the shop and they decide to behave provided you buy what they put in the basket or trolley (for L that is). They choose things you don’t even want to buy then you forget what you were intending to get. Anyway, shopping is so much stressful around children,  the shouting (aaaaaarrrhhh), they lie down on the floor (when they want something and you won’t allow it), they cry  (for everything), then the endless why’s  (for god knows the question) that makes your head explode. I was always good in sticking with the budget and shopping list, but now I panic, and I panic buy, let’s say in my list it says 1x  organic carrots any first bag of carrots I see I buy x 2. That is so me panic buying,  so now I learned my lesson I go shopping every Friday evening or Saturday morning once a week, alone and leave daddy to deal with the children and to save me from breaking the bank.

On some days I deliberately take L and let him decide which veg  or fruits he wants to eat, hand him his pretend credit card (a garden centre club card), let him pretend pay for it and that gives him an idea how everything works and sure when he gets home he is so keen to eat what he’s chosen. It works every time. 

Shopping shouldn’t be stressful but a baby and a toddler is a very bad combination you can take one or the other not both, it’s going to be a catastrophe. As soon as you get distracted by the baby’s crying before you know it the basket is filled with crap! And you are just doomed, because whatever is in there, they know when you take it out.

I tried different strategies when taking them shopping but this one is the winner, I make sure baby is sleeping (soundly) and the toddler, I let him choose whichever treat he wants (only one!) and he is only allowed to open or eat it with the following conditions, if he is well behaved until we finish shopping and if he eats and finishes his main meals for the day, then he not only behaves for the whole shopping duration but for the rest of the day, hahaha! Talking about being smart ha!

Anyway, shopping alone without the children feels like a holiday, quiet, chill and I can take my time (a little bit).  But now and again I don’t mind having somebody, rolling on the floor, makes the experience a little bit interesting.

Write soon ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜

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Babymoon and baby blues.

And so at the time my frustrations are over riding my good sense of joy. Will I ever be the same person after having the baby or will it get worst? yes! less than four months to go and can’t wait, then on the other hand I’m scared of something that I really can’t figure out what. Oh well is babymoon similar to honeymoon except that you’re trying to spend quality time with your partner before having the baby. And yes baby blues are here and still invading my sense of being, is that even possible? So yes, my happiness are turned to frustrations and oh! I’m learning to cope with the weirdness of my pregnancy blues. People would hold my bump as if they haven’t seen one, and yes I am FAT! I get these manic statements such as Oh! you are so little I didn’t know you are pregnant and that shirt suits you, don’t you have any loose ones? Or some rough statements such as you are ugly and FAT! I mean I didn’t ask for your opinions and yet you are giving yours. It isn’t welcoming at all. Anyway, So I am going to be an aunt few months after having my own little angel. Why so soon?! Pregnancy has lots of emotional and physical strains. Will I ever recuperate? Will I ever trust my instincts, I’m pretty much confused at the moment, because of the happiness, me having a baby in few months time and becoming an aunt. So I need to keep up with my momentary illusions of Jenson Button or Bradley Cooper, oh my gosh it always makes my blues away.:) What exactly happens when the feeling of excitement is mask by frustrations and never ending mood swings?ย I started noticing that I was far more impatient and irritable than usual and that I just didnโ€™t feel like my usual self. ย These feelings seemed above and beyond the typical changes that happens during pregnancy. I am struggling to keep up with my hobbies, all I want is to eat and sleep, those usual hobbies are very difficult at these stage. Sometimes I even feel my self withdrawing from friends and much more to my other half. And then it came to the point that I like doing things alone, which isn’t really me at all, Before the pregnancy i used to enjoy long walks and spend time with GJ, yet now it’s becoming more and more difficult, I am struggling with certain tasks, I am becoming slower and slower each passing day. I am pretty much about things, how’s the baby doing, how am i going to tame myself or prevent myself from being horrible, normally I am an easy going person and now I am one of the strangest creatures God made, I am becoming a loner and pretty much depressed because of anxiety. I used to get up in the morning, smiling, and excited for the days work, and now getting up is a struggle and before I even start the day i feel discouraged on how the day will be. At some point I needed help, at least an emotional support from a loved one, yet where is the support, except from GJ. I don’t want to use the term depression as it affects my psychological state of mind but the more i get worn out at work the more I feel down.

I guess I need to divert my attention from something that makes me happy such as:

Dancing

Singing (even if you can’t sing, you still can sing your heart out)

Catching up with friends, which may be difficult but will be off help

Be cheerful at work, embrace life as it is.

Eat, cook and sleep as much as you want

Be grumpy whenever then laugh out loud as much as possible.

Blog ’em up (write and share your insights)

And lastly you need to build up a support system from loved ones (i.e partner), friends and colleagues. Professional help will boost your confidence, especially you feel appease that support is just round the corner ๐Ÿ™‚