Loving our friends

Yesterday we met up with friends, it was lovely and although we wanted to stay some more it was nearing the kids witching hours,  so we thought we’ll save some stories for next time.

We love seeing our friends, how we miss our friend Larry and we just want to make sure everything is okay with him. He’s been our friend for a long long time but we’ve been super busy with our lives that we haven’t seen each other for nearly a year. So yesterday was a good day, the children enjoyed his company and we had lunch together and it felt like the old times.

Then after lunch we met up with our friends and their beautiful baby boy, his name is Kai and I tell you he is the most handsome boy you’ll ever meet, with those beautiful blue eyes. Ah! I can’t stop looking and loving him, how adorable he is and I got to cuddle him!(super proud!). 

Our children loves them so much especially their brother from another mommy. It’s amazing how fast they grow up, it’s amazing how beautiful they are. It was my first time properly meeting Elly and Sam but oh my goodness they are very kind, loving and warm people. I know I’ve been such a crazy stalker, you know stalking about their lives (because i fell in love with Kai) but I admire these guys so much, with all the things they went and going through, they have lots of positivity in their lives amidst all the challenges they are facing.

If you guys can help, spare a few dollars, or pounds or whatever is your currency, you know every little thing helps, please help us raise money to fund research for nkh (non ketotic hyperglycinemia), please help us find a cure for every child who has this disorder. These children are precious. These children are fighters. These children deserves a better future. These children deserves a cure.

Here is the link for their story so you guys can see how beautiful Kai is, trust me you’ll fall in love with him too:

http://www.teammikaere.com/

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To the friend I thought I had

This won’t be walking down memory lane, this won’t be easy as I loved you like a family. But things change, everything moves on, we make mistakes and grow from them…and it seems you are stuck in the same person you are way way back time. 

We don’t share the same banters, we don’t share the same sense of humour anymore, I don’t take your criticisms as well as I should have, like we were still teenagers going to young adults, I have grown and I outdid you in that aspect. You may be stuck in your bubble holding your grasp tightly to a friendship we once had, we thought we manage to fuck-proof our friendship, but overtime I don’t think I still know you. We both moved on.

We walked different lanes, we chose different fields, along the way we may have met in one or two cross roads but just like other people we moved on and found ourselves in an awkward position. We were completely different people, like perfect strangers trying to find similarities, but as we try to rejuvenate whatever is left in our friendship we found ourselves finding more differences and becoming more distant as ever.

Fast forward a husband, and two children later. I am in a better position, I have the best man and he is my best friend too. But everytime we try to ride our old raft and try to be friends we end up sinking in the bottom, that’s because we failed to realise that we have different priorities, we moulded ourselves to become different people, and with each new set of priorities the new person standing in front is not the same fuck proofed person we thought we had.

I was offended with your constructive criticisms, from calling my children names, and for criticising our parenting style. You see, when you have children everything changes, it becomes difficult, you actually grow rather than stuck in that stupid bubble you are in. How dare you criticise me and my family when you are not perfect yourself, how dare you tell me things when you have not a single clue of what is going on with my life, how dare you be in my life! 

I tried putting up with your merry jolly antics all these years, but man you stepped a little too far whatever your tiny brain can reach. How dare you be in my life just please get the hell out, I’m not going to name shame you because that is wrong,but you know who you are and you fucked me up so badly.

Making friends

I rarely go out because I feel so guilty leaving my children to their daddy, having him work more than what he deserves. But I feel like I needed some time alone with friends for few hours every once in a while to reset myself and to clear my head from all the daily tasks I am facing. Gladly I went out and it’s selfish to say but I really enjoyed it.

I always wanted to hang out with friends past the children’s bedtime so babysitting won’t be such a hassle for the other half, plus I never found the perfect friends to hang out with until now. I have friends who are too posh, won’t do this or that, or friends that can’t get along with other friends, or friends who are not in the same wavelength as I do, or friends who are not cool enough to be on mommy night out.

I struggle with friends who are too posh, I love them but I’m never happy whenever I go out with them, it’s as if you have to watch every movement you do, or such decorum which I’m not fond of. Which means they are only up to expensive night outs, bless them but I am not happy being a social climber although I never was, hanging out with them is a struggle because you lose your own identity and become so pretentious to be in the social circle.

I have friends who are cool enough to go out but can’t get along with each other, bloody freak what’s the point of going out if you have to referee every now and again, seriously why can’t we just get along with each other. Ugh!

I have friends who are nice but not in the same wavelength as I do, meaning we talk about the children rather than other interesting stuff. I’m not saying the kids aren’t important they sure are but there other things worth discussing too. Sometimes if you want to reset yourself you just want to engage to some smart conversation rather than conspiracy theories lool.

I have friends who can’t simply loosen up one bit. They are too scared to trust their other half. What the hell is wrong with these people. Why have children with the person if you don’t trust them enough is beyond me. Honestly I just want to be with people who can loosen up, who are not too posh, or who are not such bum-holes.

And I found my perfect mates, I know I can turn to, I can hang out with and are cool enough to go social now and again.

These people I can just loosen up, untangle my very tangled brain and are supportive enough.

I hate to say sometimes I get to talking with the wrong friends then I feel trapped at the end of the day, I love making friends but if the friendship makes you unhappy detach yourself as early as possible. Sometimes when I see flaws or when I feel like I’m being embarrassed or are too rude then I detach myself politely and slowly.

I think that’s the reason why although I love making new friends I’m having a hard time getting in the circle because I never find the perfect people to hang out with, the only perfect person for now is my other half and my one and only best bud.

At least I have few cool friends who are not afraid to loosen up a bit and just let our hair down around each other.

Write soon 😊

P.s: the girls and I won a bottle of wine from the pub quiz woohoo super proud ! #teamvincent

Friends

Recently, I have suffered a terrible blow in my relationship with my only found friend and truthfully I was devastated when we fell off, just because I failed to show up and help out in her son’s christening just because my own son is being unwell. I wonder has she lost her mind when she wanted to come over our house one day during her break and I refused to take her in for the reason that my partner is at home working and I have tons of things to do that seems so impossible to finish during the window nap time that day. But two months after the feud, after struggling a terrible feeling of guilt my crippled body is starting to recover, to my luck I saw her around Lidl one day and she said hello to me and I completely ignored her (bitchy I know) but I thought at the time that was the best thing to do. And so I tried to forget about her as my life cannot go around a person who only thinks about herself and not of others.

I am in a much happier position in life, I get fired every now and then when my little one is really pissed off me, hahaha! I know one day he said mommy pop-cake (rice cake) and I refused to give in and he said “You fired!” to my surprise I ended up laughing and so it seems, I have a supportive partner that gives in with the Garfield look just to get what I want lool. And of course my newly found friends in the neighbourhood.

I always had a hard time making friends with people simply because I was slightly traumatised by that friend (mentioned above), she criticizes me with almost everything her big eyes can see, and that includes my appearance. Now finding these new found friends, I am really happy simply because I can just be myself around them. Of course not to forget my old friends (not old, but my lovely friends whose been there all along) I just realise how important they are and how lovely to talk to them from time to time, we may not see each other a lot but when we do we really enjoy each other’s company and I am very happy around them.

So now, I managed to break the ice and our children playing together like Tom and Jerry, my new friends and I not only talk about the children but we talk about hobbies and skills. And we learn from each other by teaching her the things I am good at and so does she, it really feels good that friendship is a learning process too and that is a beautiful process because we grow together and not compete with each other. For now I think I’ll keep enjoying my new found friend’s company and of course I won’t forget about those friends whose been there all along and my friends whom I recently reconnected via the social media.

Here’s to our friendship! Cheers!:)

@ TWO

So my little son is already two and it’s hard to keep him entertained as he really gets bored with things that we do over and over and over and over again. I’m not too sure if he got it from me or from his dad but all I know is I was like him when I was little. 🙂

Well to get started he can name the alphabets and count 1 to 10, he can basically play alone ( in the garden of course!), but always in the look out as one slight gap he always targets mommy’s beautiful plants. He is a clever little pea, so sometimes I make planned activities which works out well especially the chemistry experiments that we usually do such as the elephant toothpaste and the reaction of  NaHCO3 and CH3COOH (acetic acid).  

Now for a mom to explain that to a child can be very difficult obviously I cannot say, Hey son! here is an experiment of Acid Base Reaction- which is a neutralization reaction where enough base is added to an acid to neutralize it into a salt and water, then you get a paper and scribble in it writing:
A. CH3COOH + NaHCO3 ===> NaCH3COO + H2CO3
(vinegar)    (baking soda)  (sodium acetate)  (carbonic acid)
B. H2CO3 ===> CO2 + H2O
(carbonic acid)  (carbon dioxide) (water)
Overall:  CH3COOH + NaHCO3 ===> NaCH3COO + CO2 + H2O
(vinegar)    (baking soda)  (sodium acetate) (carbon dioxide) (water)

Compound Reaction – reaction where there are intermediates that are not in the products or reactants
Decomposition Reaction –  separation of a chemical compounds into elements or simpler compound

Exothermic Reaction – a chemical reaction where energy is released in the form of heat or light.

So how in the world can I explain the reaction to my two year old son? simple, as my partner’s advice be truthful and just tell him that it is what is it is and as he gets older repeat the experiments and explain further details to him in such a way that he can understand it, obviously you have to imagine yourself being in a child’s shoe rather than with a teenager (which is still a child in such a way, of course). Be careful not to bore the child as well.

I have been doing lot’s of researches on how to entertain my little boy but not all are successful of course! When all else fails, dirt is always the answer, basically I just allow him to dig and dig in the garden up to the point that he’s almost eating worms, not!

Also, since my partner and I are of different culture and origin and the only similarity is English we are struggling to teach the little one to learn all three languages. But this little man is like a sponge absorbing everything in a snap. So we’ve been teaching him few words per day Dutch- English- Filipino and vice versa, he gets confused by it all but he is really really coping well. You can see that when we ask him a certain word it clearly shows he is thinking because it takes few seconds before he responds, but in the end he gets most of it right, and we’ll keep doing it until he can speak all three languages or understand it even more.

I am really not good in categorizing activities but some of our activities I will publish for mom’s that are struggling to keep the toddlers entertained. I will keep you posted how it goes.:)

IMAG3310 IMAG3444 IMAG3459 IMAG3475

Here are some of the activities we do when all else fails 🙂

Flower picking

Nature trails

Shoot that coin

gardening

One good day coming up.

I woke up feeling great today, unlike the past few days have been lazy days is this a sign of danger coming up? I hope not. Anyway, it’s good to wake up next to my favorite man..GJ and listened to U2 It’s a beautiful day, what a superb serenade that is.

Our window view is amongst the greatest view, I love having breakfast by the window these days and all you can see is the serene view of Box Hill, Clear blue skies, leaf dancing wind, children with their mom’s rushing to the churchyard (which is actually a nursery in the morning). Most people wouldn’t even appreciate that and would see something less than beautiful.

I hardly appreciate things outside especially during gloomy days but now I just realized it’s all about our perspectives. I am happy to wake up from a dream that had me facing my own inner dark night. It focused on a new venture in which I am engaged that a person who has since left years ago (and in my dreams, often forgets that and requires my reminders) attempted to bully me out of my joy around it and take it over, expressing that I wasn’t capable or competent to succeed or even so wouldn’t have the capability to see love in a different way. No way was I about to allow him to do so, and in my dream, I engaged a friend who is a dynamic ally, to assist me in taking my own power back. I felt confused at first, thinking that events were occuring years ago and then remembered who I was, where and when I was and what I was capable of achieving. I recognized that sometimes in life, he gave voice to my own active inner critic, sometimes makes an unwelcome appearance with those same messages. To be fair, there were times that he was an ardent cheerleader and likely now is on the celestial squad, whistling and clapping at my recent accomplishments. In the dream, I stood up to him/me, since I have heard over and over that each part of a dream is an aspect of the dreamer. As I stood my ground, I felt taller somehow, more in possession of my own place in the world, refusing to give up, as I would have in the face of disagreement in the past.

The dream left me wondering how deeply buried and insidious our self doubts can be. Do we surrender to them and let them wash over us, sweeping us away with the tide? Do we keep on swimming for shore, trusting that we can rest in between the waves and perhaps even ride them until the sands welcome us as we take respite? What visions do you have for yourself that your own inner bully attempts to confiscate? How can you awaken to the light of a beautiful new day?

Since I’ve been over indulged in my past nightmares, at the moment I am happy to be surrounded by great friends, and a great man in my life. Those vivid views of my past are haunting me just because I allow them to come and influence me back again, to what? pull me down and keep me pre-occupied my my past failures and to stumble on my own weakness? I would never allow that to happen as my life has been evolving and improving.

I’ve learnt that my weaknesses can be a source of my strengths too. If he pulled me down in the past I cannot allow him to do so this time as I have learned to embrace my life and I don’t care what other people think or whatever they have to say anymore.

The contemplations are far harsh than the past one’s but having this moment in my life and somewhat freedom to think and re-think of what lies ahead is far more having your own private space, people can change as they said but I am not sure if I can embrace to that concept ever again. I’ve learnt to hate people who caused my self destruction in the past, best thing to do is to avoid negative influences in your life.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another”

– Napoleon HillImage

Link

AJ Santos’ wix webpage

http://ajsantos1986.wix.com/aleljsantos?fb_ref=Default

my wix site hasn’t been updated for ages, but for some reason i cannot link it with wordpress so i thought of sharing the link so if it interests you, you can check it out and leave your insights.

You can click on the link attached on this page and you can see the sneak preview of my photos. From now on I will be updating my wordpress account instead of my wix. Many thanks.