Motherhood at its best

Motherhood has its ups and downs, each and everyone has our own fair share of struggles, stories and embarrassments. It is in motherhood that we learn about raising and celebrating our children, the children that we have, not the children what we thought we have or the children we were expecting. That we should be grateful and understanding that our children are the children that they are supposed to be, rather than what we are expecting to have. Our children are teachers that teaches us what kind of parents we are supposed to be. 

Motherhood is hard enough, the chores, the tantrums, the sleepless nights, the nightmare of parenting, the eyes of strangers looking (whether we are doing a great job), the criticisms (everybody is a goddamn critic), every single molecule in our parenting thing will go through that thread hole because everyone around us will think they are perfect enough to advice and criticise us. Everybody will give unsolicited fracking advices. It is up to us to filter what’s useful and not, and it’s up to us to raise our children.

It’s never easy to raise children, it’s either you make them or break them. Just looking at it, it seems to be a daunting, stressful and challenging job, well it is and nobody is perfect. Parenting, is such a job that it evolves us to become a better person and know our self worth.

Parenting requires resilience,  no matter how resilient we are in terms of adversities and challenges, we still need support, love, encouragement and inspirations that is for everybody for sure. We loathe criticisms as we are all different and we have different styles.

The hopes that we have for our children, the dreams that we want them to be, the possibilities there are, the happiness they give us, the love, they make us feel good about ourselves and to remind us that we are doing a spectacular job. The smiles they bring that brightens the whole gloomy world around us, the efforts we make to make these parenting hurdles easier. The difficulties we experience to bring the best in us. The unique abilities each and every child has, same for us parents. The storms that we experience to make us strong and to be the best people we can be. 

It is not a joke to parent a child, it is quite a job but the satisfaction we get when people praise them, when they share or when they get a bit flustered (which means they turn to us for attention) about things, it is a unique experience for each and everyone.

The embarrassments, oooh I have plenty, but I am no longer embarrass to embrace my flaws. Because one thing I figured, an embarrassing moment will make your world a lot brighter. I once had the guts to warm up my pizza from the microwave after having a rough night, yes I turned the damn thing on and to my disappointment my pizza isn’t there, so I was looking for it in the oven, fridge or wherever just to find it in the frying pan in the hob. I almost burnt the house down there. And there’s this instance I’ve been looking for my glasses for days just to find them in the fridge, or a poo-nami explosion, these experiences makes parenting a wonderful experience not a dreadful one.

I love the grunt work, the noise, the cries, the laughs, the accidents (wee and poo), the arguments (between me and dad, or dad and L, or L and me), the adventures, the craziness, and most especially the love.

Love makes up for everything.

The cries meant I need you more than you know.

The screams doesn’t mean I hate you but you are my rock.

The hugs that are super nice when you are tired.

And the grunt work, brings happiness because at the end of the day we are raising wonderful and resilient children.

Write soon 😘😘😘😘😘

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Friends

Recently, I have suffered a terrible blow in my relationship with my only found friend and truthfully I was devastated when we fell off, just because I failed to show up and help out in her son’s christening just because my own son is being unwell. I wonder has she lost her mind when she wanted to come over our house one day during her break and I refused to take her in for the reason that my partner is at home working and I have tons of things to do that seems so impossible to finish during the window nap time that day. But two months after the feud, after struggling a terrible feeling of guilt my crippled body is starting to recover, to my luck I saw her around Lidl one day and she said hello to me and I completely ignored her (bitchy I know) but I thought at the time that was the best thing to do. And so I tried to forget about her as my life cannot go around a person who only thinks about herself and not of others.

I am in a much happier position in life, I get fired every now and then when my little one is really pissed off me, hahaha! I know one day he said mommy pop-cake (rice cake) and I refused to give in and he said “You fired!” to my surprise I ended up laughing and so it seems, I have a supportive partner that gives in with the Garfield look just to get what I want lool. And of course my newly found friends in the neighbourhood.

I always had a hard time making friends with people simply because I was slightly traumatised by that friend (mentioned above), she criticizes me with almost everything her big eyes can see, and that includes my appearance. Now finding these new found friends, I am really happy simply because I can just be myself around them. Of course not to forget my old friends (not old, but my lovely friends whose been there all along) I just realise how important they are and how lovely to talk to them from time to time, we may not see each other a lot but when we do we really enjoy each other’s company and I am very happy around them.

So now, I managed to break the ice and our children playing together like Tom and Jerry, my new friends and I not only talk about the children but we talk about hobbies and skills. And we learn from each other by teaching her the things I am good at and so does she, it really feels good that friendship is a learning process too and that is a beautiful process because we grow together and not compete with each other. For now I think I’ll keep enjoying my new found friend’s company and of course I won’t forget about those friends whose been there all along and my friends whom I recently reconnected via the social media.

Here’s to our friendship! Cheers!:)

The Rookie Dad :)

When we found out GJ and I are going to be parents I thought I saw him scared for the first time. He was worrying will we be ever good parents especially him as a father. First of all with all honesty I thought he’s going to be a fabulous dad, so to make him confident I re-assured him everything will be fine and bought him his first pregnancy book, Pregnancy for men, which apparently made him  more interested into the stages and development of my pregnancy. And now as we live in an increasingly busy world, the time for causal conversations has almost been forgotten or shall we say almost lost. So much of life and what our options might be we learn from our talks with friends, families, peers, colleagues and especially dads, we are grateful to have friends like Dominic and Vova to guide and walk him through fatherhood.

My Rookie dad is really doing well these days, his been extremely into every bits of my pregnancy, from my first to the last scan and he wants to be updated to every bits and bobs of my appointments (obviously he cannot be there all the time due to work).

One is that when men become fathers they are challenged by the profound change in their life. I know this was true for some (seeing most new dads). And I thought this dad thing would be easy…oh wow! It was much more complicated than I thought or understood! Most new dads are very uncertain about to expect after their baby is born and although , this is completely normal (I just hope it is)…it is difficult to tolerate the new uncertainty of life.

If you’re like most new or expectant dads, you’re probably carrying around some silent assumptions about what it means to be a father. Those ideas are rooted in your experiences with your own father and in what you believe society expects of a male parent. Unfortunately, few resources exist to help men address these issues or put common myths to the test. Yet the more you examine and understand your unspoken expectations of fatherhood, the better chance you have of becoming the parent you want to be.

Perhaps the biggest myth of all is that there’s only one definition of a “good father.” But fatherhood is not a fixed entity. You have the power to craft your own version to meet your needs and the needs of your family — and you can do it over time. From pregnancy through the first three years of parenthood, men change and develop a unique identity as a father.

But as for my rookie dad, I won’t expect too much from him, he should learn to walk before running, there is no such thing as perfection in parenthood i guess every milestone in parenthood is a learning process and that The Rookie parents should help each other.