Motherhood at its best

Motherhood has its ups and downs, each and everyone has our own fair share of struggles, stories and embarrassments. It is in motherhood that we learn about raising and celebrating our children, the children that we have, not the children what we thought we have or the children we were expecting. That we should be grateful and understanding that our children are the children that they are supposed to be, rather than what we are expecting to have. Our children are teachers that teaches us what kind of parents we are supposed to be. 

Motherhood is hard enough, the chores, the tantrums, the sleepless nights, the nightmare of parenting, the eyes of strangers looking (whether we are doing a great job), the criticisms (everybody is a goddamn critic), every single molecule in our parenting thing will go through that thread hole because everyone around us will think they are perfect enough to advice and criticise us. Everybody will give unsolicited fracking advices. It is up to us to filter what’s useful and not, and it’s up to us to raise our children.

It’s never easy to raise children, it’s either you make them or break them. Just looking at it, it seems to be a daunting, stressful and challenging job, well it is and nobody is perfect. Parenting, is such a job that it evolves us to become a better person and know our self worth.

Parenting requires resilience,  no matter how resilient we are in terms of adversities and challenges, we still need support, love, encouragement and inspirations that is for everybody for sure. We loathe criticisms as we are all different and we have different styles.

The hopes that we have for our children, the dreams that we want them to be, the possibilities there are, the happiness they give us, the love, they make us feel good about ourselves and to remind us that we are doing a spectacular job. The smiles they bring that brightens the whole gloomy world around us, the efforts we make to make these parenting hurdles easier. The difficulties we experience to bring the best in us. The unique abilities each and every child has, same for us parents. The storms that we experience to make us strong and to be the best people we can be. 

It is not a joke to parent a child, it is quite a job but the satisfaction we get when people praise them, when they share or when they get a bit flustered (which means they turn to us for attention) about things, it is a unique experience for each and everyone.

The embarrassments, oooh I have plenty, but I am no longer embarrass to embrace my flaws. Because one thing I figured, an embarrassing moment will make your world a lot brighter. I once had the guts to warm up my pizza from the microwave after having a rough night, yes I turned the damn thing on and to my disappointment my pizza isn’t there, so I was looking for it in the oven, fridge or wherever just to find it in the frying pan in the hob. I almost burnt the house down there. And there’s this instance I’ve been looking for my glasses for days just to find them in the fridge, or a poo-nami explosion, these experiences makes parenting a wonderful experience not a dreadful one.

I love the grunt work, the noise, the cries, the laughs, the accidents (wee and poo), the arguments (between me and dad, or dad and L, or L and me), the adventures, the craziness, and most especially the love.

Love makes up for everything.

The cries meant I need you more than you know.

The screams doesn’t mean I hate you but you are my rock.

The hugs that are super nice when you are tired.

And the grunt work, brings happiness because at the end of the day we are raising wonderful and resilient children.

Write soon 😘😘😘😘😘

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Panic Buyer

What’s the difference when shopping pre babies and shopping post babies? Good question, pre babies I like doing it, I find it relaxing having some me time, smelling some scented candles that you won’t bother to buy, going from aisle to aisle, relaxed. Post babies (toddler and a baby),I panic buy, every single time! I just want to get the hell out of the shop before one of the children explodes.

I dread it when I am booked for an appointment, or run an errand may it be to the shops or post office, the dreadful part is? Getting and waiting in the queue. Queues makes my life goddamn miserable, every single time! It’s a tried and tested way to work out how short your fuse is. It is dreadful because at this point the children will reach their melting point, which both the child and excuses (solid and liquid, excuses are liquid because it depends if you can sway them with the fluidity of the excuse or otherwise) exist in equilibrium. The higher the purity of your excuse the smaller the range for a melting point, such as finding a buffer to equalise the already imminent meltdown. Gosh meltdowns are dreadful especially when it happens around strangers, all eyes on you smirking or taking pity on you, adding up to the already escalating stress levels. 

There are days when I take them to the shop and they decide to behave provided you buy what they put in the basket or trolley (for L that is). They choose things you don’t even want to buy then you forget what you were intending to get. Anyway, shopping is so much stressful around children,  the shouting (aaaaaarrrhhh), they lie down on the floor (when they want something and you won’t allow it), they cry  (for everything), then the endless why’s  (for god knows the question) that makes your head explode. I was always good in sticking with the budget and shopping list, but now I panic, and I panic buy, let’s say in my list it says 1x  organic carrots any first bag of carrots I see I buy x 2. That is so me panic buying,  so now I learned my lesson I go shopping every Friday evening or Saturday morning once a week, alone and leave daddy to deal with the children and to save me from breaking the bank.

On some days I deliberately take L and let him decide which veg  or fruits he wants to eat, hand him his pretend credit card (a garden centre club card), let him pretend pay for it and that gives him an idea how everything works and sure when he gets home he is so keen to eat what he’s chosen. It works every time. 

Shopping shouldn’t be stressful but a baby and a toddler is a very bad combination you can take one or the other not both, it’s going to be a catastrophe. As soon as you get distracted by the baby’s crying before you know it the basket is filled with crap! And you are just doomed, because whatever is in there, they know when you take it out.

I tried different strategies when taking them shopping but this one is the winner, I make sure baby is sleeping (soundly) and the toddler, I let him choose whichever treat he wants (only one!) and he is only allowed to open or eat it with the following conditions, if he is well behaved until we finish shopping and if he eats and finishes his main meals for the day, then he not only behaves for the whole shopping duration but for the rest of the day, hahaha! Talking about being smart ha!

Anyway, shopping alone without the children feels like a holiday, quiet, chill and I can take my time (a little bit).  But now and again I don’t mind having somebody, rolling on the floor, makes the experience a little bit interesting.

Write soon 😘😘😘😘😘

Friends

Recently, I have suffered a terrible blow in my relationship with my only found friend and truthfully I was devastated when we fell off, just because I failed to show up and help out in her son’s christening just because my own son is being unwell. I wonder has she lost her mind when she wanted to come over our house one day during her break and I refused to take her in for the reason that my partner is at home working and I have tons of things to do that seems so impossible to finish during the window nap time that day. But two months after the feud, after struggling a terrible feeling of guilt my crippled body is starting to recover, to my luck I saw her around Lidl one day and she said hello to me and I completely ignored her (bitchy I know) but I thought at the time that was the best thing to do. And so I tried to forget about her as my life cannot go around a person who only thinks about herself and not of others.

I am in a much happier position in life, I get fired every now and then when my little one is really pissed off me, hahaha! I know one day he said mommy pop-cake (rice cake) and I refused to give in and he said “You fired!” to my surprise I ended up laughing and so it seems, I have a supportive partner that gives in with the Garfield look just to get what I want lool. And of course my newly found friends in the neighbourhood.

I always had a hard time making friends with people simply because I was slightly traumatised by that friend (mentioned above), she criticizes me with almost everything her big eyes can see, and that includes my appearance. Now finding these new found friends, I am really happy simply because I can just be myself around them. Of course not to forget my old friends (not old, but my lovely friends whose been there all along) I just realise how important they are and how lovely to talk to them from time to time, we may not see each other a lot but when we do we really enjoy each other’s company and I am very happy around them.

So now, I managed to break the ice and our children playing together like Tom and Jerry, my new friends and I not only talk about the children but we talk about hobbies and skills. And we learn from each other by teaching her the things I am good at and so does she, it really feels good that friendship is a learning process too and that is a beautiful process because we grow together and not compete with each other. For now I think I’ll keep enjoying my new found friend’s company and of course I won’t forget about those friends whose been there all along and my friends whom I recently reconnected via the social media.

Here’s to our friendship! Cheers!:)

Ms Grumpy pants

Some bantering i get from the lovely GJ, grumpy pants he says! In pregnancy the ever famous culprits are our lovely hormones, just when I thought I was over the morning sickness, hot flushes, horrible mood swings and emotional appeal to the world about anything and everything. I cry about simple things, from being hungry to being unable to sleep. I’m becoming more like a child each and every single day, like a child begging for candies. I get upset for no ridiculous reason.

One moment I’m head over heels with GJ then hate him after a while. I find myself snapping at GJ for little reasons, such as not listening to me (when he obviously does!), or when he asks questions or repeats the tasks i wanted him to do. I guess picking on him is the most common thing I’ve always enjoyed doing plus it is my way of releasing my frustrations, I really didn’t mean to fly off the handle most of the time but I’m sure he knows.

Well Mr. endorphins is well hidden somewhere that’s why Mrs. Estrogen is in the limelight to take the credits for me being grumpy pants. I am trying to exercise as much as I can from walking to and fro the pharmacy, dispensing and having a massive conersation with my rude patients. I love the conversations at work especially if the patient doesn’t even have a clue whats he/she’s on about.

It’s quite bizarre when Mrs. Estrogen is on its peak causing emotional outbursts and grumpiness, her along with Mr. progestorene carries on confusing my little body with his magical happy bunny transformations.

Not only the sky high hormones or the happy bunny mood, it’s the random fuelled nightmares I also get. From worrying how the little one is doing to nightmares, vivid nightmares from the past or from which hasn’t even happened and are impossible to happen, many thanks Mr. and Mrs hormones you’ve succeeded in confusing my little being.

My complexion has improved all throughout the pregnancy, but my hair, oh my hair, I thought it just stopped growing and became lank, then after awhile it grew up like a weird and electrocuted weed. From looking like Morticia Addams to looking like grandmama, dear oh dear, it just won’t cooperate.

Horrible constipation from one day to weeks you just won’t and can’t go, despite on the reasonable eating habits, when i say reasonable I mean to say eating like a construction worker, you just won’t stop from munching from little snacks to big fat meals, and apparently the digestive system is relaxing and doesn’t do a single thing to help me go. Dear oh dear it’s gonna be really worst when I
pass it out my system it’s like the declaration of third world war or they might mistakenly say there’s a nuclear test in my area.

And so yes my boobs are like world maps, the veins are more prominent and they tripled in size, oh my goodness, lucky for some eh!

The random cravings banana with mustard is a fave, fabric softener maybe?And now I am learning to sneeze while trying to cross my legs and my pelvic floor clinging for potential accidents, oh dear that’s the worst thing that could happen at work.

And now I have to cope with the baby practicing martial arts, oh yes yes not only that by all means my insatiable urge to chat and annoy GJ is a massive YES for me. I love pissing him off from putting my leg to the most delicate thing at home to pestering him while he’s at work.

But most of all, I love staring at GJ when he’s sleeping peacefully and thinking to myself, in few months time you’ll be a daddy and make sure you’ll wake up and look after the baby, change his/her nappy and feed him, comfort him/her when he/ she’s upset.

Seriously I am lucky as GJ understands every bits and pieces I am going through the whole of my pregnancy, he’s been so supportive even from my highs and especially my lows. I am
really proud of him and Now i can say One hug isn’t enough to show him how I appreciate his efforts, from satisfying my cravings to comforting me in times when I needed him.

Three and a half months from now and our little one will change our lives forever 🙂

Happy pregnancy to all 🙂