Happy birthday sweet pea.

October 12, 2017

Wageningen, NL


It’s been a year!


To my itty bitty darling,

I cannot believe it’s been a year already, from the moment you were born you held a valuable place in our hearts especially kuya’s. How protective is he of you,  how crazy and how much he loves you, NO words can explain it. As for me a year since you were born has been the shortest and longest year thus far. In this year I have learned how to love a human being, a tiny tiny human being with the strongest impact and depth I have yet figured out. The moment they took you out of mommy’s belly until the moment we heard your furious crying (they woke you up) it clicked to us that you were the missing piece to complete the family puzzle.

The first few months were the toughest I was completely drained from all sorts of energy from breastfeeding to running around like a headless chicken sorting out kuya’s needs, your needs and the chores. But in every bump we encountered we managed to bounce back. And there it goes it became easier from then on.


With all these new chapters and milestones it must so happened that I love you more and I am loving you differently. It’s not that you are a delicate and not because you are a girl, but you are my last baby, in every firsts  it will also be mommy’s lasts. I feel confident that as you grow our relationship and bond will flourish even more, NO matter how much challenges that gets in our way, nobody can tear us all apart, you have mommy, daddy and kuya and we got your back forever. Life will throw us a lot of challenges that’s for sure, but our love, my love will only become bigger as you develop your personality and character,  as you grow to become the person you are to be someday, I grow with you too.


As you get bigger and become more aware of your surroundings, you explore everything and notice even the smallest detail you see. I hate it when you fall down and hit your face or head on something, but then I secretly kinda love it. . . not because you’re hurt but because I know that I’ll just get to hold you and cuddle you for a long time as you calm down. You don’t always slow down much, you are always on the go.


You are such a happy girl and have a smile that lights up the room.
We often say you smile with your eyes, it’s contagious.
You’re an easy go lucky baby but at the same time you know exactly what you want.
One of the best things about you is the love you give.

From your smiles to your hugs and kisses and best of all cuddles.
I can’t get enough of you.
You, my child are also FUNNY!
You are very aware of this.
You make crazy noises and when we laugh, you keep doing them.
You love attention and once you have it, you know how to keep it.
Then you laugh right along with us.
This is the case everywhere we go.

I hope that as you grow you also maintain to light up the room like the sky filled with stars.

We love you to the moon and back. Here’s to many more.

Happy 1st Birthday

Love x

Mom, Dad and Kuya


https://youtu.be/gZ1Trwaywms

Advertisements

Lukie @ 4

June 14, 2017

Dorking, Surrey
4 years old!

Dear Lukie,


As I sit down to write your  birthday letter this year I am struck by something that makes me both excited and a bit sad at the same time–you are no longer a baby. How time flies, I feel like I just held you in my arms yesterday, so Diddy and sweet. 4 years later I am starting to see that you have grown fearfully and wonderfully, you are a unique person starting to reclaim your independence and develop your own personality. I am proud of you as always.

Now that you’ve grown, I see and hear you more and more each passing day- it is you that makes you my Lukie. You are super outgoing, confident, friendly, brave, strong, adventurous, hardworking and loving. I am very grateful that despite the hardships and struggles of our daily lives I get to watch you grow into you each day.

This has been a significantly big year for you, you have adapted to all the changes, challenges and adventures that we threw at you, there have been lots of them and there will be more to come my lieveling 😘. From having your baby sister in October which wasn’t easy for you but you dealt with it like a rock star, to travelling and moving about. I am super proud of you for handling everything like a pro, In every new place, situation, challenges and milestones you embraced the changes and carried on with confidence, just to remind you we will always be few steps behind you but we will always be there to catch you when you fall and to guide you in every step of the way. You were quick to make new friends and explore the surroundings around you. I am sure that these things will always be a part of your life.

In about a month and a bit we will be moving to a completely different place, different country, different people, different language- everything will be different, this then will be your new abode, 3rd house in 4 years! Everyday I feel you when you tell me how you’ll miss calling out your friends and aunties in the neighbourhood,  you spend most of everyday playing in the garden calling out Leon or granny, walking to the forests nearby, cycling and racing with your friends on your bicycles and inviting friends over for play dates (your best friend is Leon, and you two play at each others houses, mostly at Leon’s everyday).

When you aren’t playing outside, you enjoy singing, reading books, playing and building with your mega bloks. You enjoy pretend play and you will give us names, for the moment daddy is Norman Price the naughty boy from Fireman Sam, you kept calling me Elvis because I dance and sing a lot to cheer you up and you call your beautiful sister Station Officer Steele maybe because she is a teeny bit bossy.

You play football although you aren’t really a ball person but for the sake of playing you kick the ball with dad, you used to be so obsessed with them that you even take a ball with you as you nap. You love riding your bike especially now that you can do it without stabilisers,  you went for it on the slopes in the skate park with your balance bike, I cannot believe you’ve grown a lot and that you can do all these things, that’s a lot of things learned in just a year.

You even adopted mommy’s baby Elmo and sleeps with you every night, you hug him ever so tightly especially when you get scared. Elmo has become your friend and your clown protector. At this stage you still move to our bedroom just for the sake of getting cuddles at night which I like.


And, as far as protectors go, you are starting to be quite a good one yourself! You love your little sister so much and, when you aren’t trying to wrestle her or steal her toys, you are very caring toward her. You insist on being the one to go get Ash up from her nap every day. I stand outside the door when you go in to get her and I love listening to you greet her with “Good morning, Bussy!”. I hope that this bond and love you have for each other stays the same as time goes by.

Lukie, my boy, it has been a joy watching you grow and change and mature this year. I am so pleased with the boy that you are, and I can’t wait to see the man who you become some day.

Today is your birthday and that your future would be as bright and magnificent as your little 4-year old dreams. That you would continue to grow into YOU with the joy that comes with it.

Lukie, you are no longer a baby. What you are is a gift, a blessing, a privilege. You are no longer a baby, but as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be. Thank you for letting me be your mommy.

I love you most!

Mommy

P.s : Daddy and Ash loves you too, not only this much but to infinity and beyond. 

The Three-nager

So we made it through babyhood, terrible two’s and about to graduate with the three-nager stage, it was dreadful, it was tormenting, it was fun. I heard from a friend who survived the trenches like us and has survived to tell the story, the best stages of parenthood is yet to come.
So the tormenting three’s huh.. a combination of a three years old energy and mentality but the attitude of teenagers 😊. 
Our son started of his three-nager stage by having little opinion from the start of it and has overgrown towards the end of it. We thought the behaviour is erratic but the fact of the matter is they merely express their opinions with a dash of irrationality and mixed temperament which they are yet to learn to achieve the perfect concoction. 
I remembered when L turned two a lot, even a bucket loads of information about terrible two’s, even warnings from grannies, mommies and bloggers. But where the hell is the unforeseeable predictions about three’s, it took us by surprise,  no one ever saw the tormenting three’s coming.
At 18 months we hear a surge of words that turns to verbal explosion, and at three’s? It’s not only a surge in length but a surge in why’s and a surge of bossiness.  It’s a surge of tormenting everything. But still the love prevails right?!
Common scene at home:
M: What do you want for breakfast? 
L: Toast with Jam please mommy, I want it cut like a triangle. 
M: WHY ARE YOU NOT EATING?!
L: hugggggggyyyyyyy,  hugggggggyyyyyyy,  hugggggggyyyyyyy..the shape is not right, uh uh uh, I want water please, uhm I want this I want that
M: (on the verge of shouting) eat now or il take it away.
Dealing with lots of tormenting situations at home made me well proofed for this. Sometimes I ignore the fact that he whines then he’ll eat it anyway, but I am not a perfect parent and I lose my rag sometimes.
I mean my son is very responsible, polite, outspoken (a little too much sometimes) and kind but he has his days too. There are days where he will absolutely cry for everything, have we been such naggy parents that we created a little diva, a little drama king, but hey these too shall pass.
The hardest part is, trying to negotiate  a deal but he would stop listening half way, is it a man thing? I mean selective hearing, my husband sure does that. Or why explaining things they would run, change the topic (he is getting better at it) or just pretend not to listen, but I think they do that selective hearing bit because they learn how to filter which things are beneficial and not beneficial to them. Or sometimes maybe I nag too much and just won’t leave him be. I think I should stop having that bad habit, it’s not healthy.
The best advice I was given by my mother few years ago was that rather than keeping on nagging at them we have to give them a little bit of liberty to decide what they actually want so there is an involvement and connection rather than just barking orders at them. So rather than saying here is your lunch now eat please, I would rather say, Please L what do you want to eat for lunch? We have chicken nuggets and cod fingers. It works out on most days but obviously everyday is different and everyday is interesting.
I made some investigations and found a really cool article from buzz feed. 
1. You live in constant fear of how to cut the shape of their sandwich or toast. Do they want triangles today, rectangles, squares? And when they do tell you, they change their mind right after you cut it.
2. They say things like (with hands firmly placed on hips), “I don’t want to clean up, I want to do what I want to do!”
3. You go through three or more wardrobe changes a day. Please just pick a already!
4. Your child goes boneless the second you remind them that a transition is coming, especially when they are asked to stop playing. By the way, when was this ability given to children? You know, lay limp and double your body weight so mom can’t move you. It’s a talent reminiscent of a possum playing dead…
5. They run away from you when it’s time to get dressed, or leave a play place, or do anything they deem unnecessary. In fact running away from you is their favorite activity.
6. To nap or not to nap, that is the question. A threenager’s answer will always be emphatically “NO!” Unless of course it’s time for school, and they crawl into bed because they’re “tired.”
7. They want three of everything because they are three.
8. At red lights they yell, “Go… GOOO!” Threenagers do not possess patience.
9. Speaking of the car, you have to leave 10 minutes earlier so they can buckle their own car seat by their “OWN SELF!”
10. You realize they’ll be a great trial lawyer one day when they’ve just negotiated their way out of a time-out.
When I saw that post I was laughing so hard in the kitchen that maybe at some point passers by thought I am a lunatic or I completely gone bonkers having to deal with two children, but yeah it’s because I can relate in every single one of them!
So mums we are not alone, take a deep breath, try to see the funny side and if all else fails I find going out is an absolute saviour to get rid of unwanted energy and attitude.

Lost and Found

Every parents greatest fear…losing our children!

So it’s holiday time, we were excited going abroad, seeing family’s,  friends and just the little time off from the routines and hustle and bustle of life.

We started nicely, we had a crazy nagging mood swings angry kinda morning were we almost killed each other before even making it at the airport. I never thought holidays can be such pain in the posterior, you know getting ready, preparing the children, the car, the army of bags and so on. When we made it out of the house it was pure JOY! 

We had a rip off lunch at the airport, it wasn’t that bad to classify as bad, it was mediocre but that’ll do..I’m not complaining but goddamn thing, £20 for 3 sausage rolls jesus almighty lord what just happened. Anyway we calmed ourselves down to the little airport soft play in Gatwick airport, it was rather cozy and the little ones were happy having little things to do.

So on with the flight, the aircraft was f*cking hot and so is my little girl’s head, she’s reached her limits and was really exploding into the most explosive tantrum we’ve seen yet! So yeah everybody’s looking like why the heck can they not tame their child kinda look, so I was trying to be cool calm and collected until the man in front started giving me dirty looks, so I looked back and mouthed fuck off! This is a 7 month old baby, first time in the airplane, overtired, overheating,hungry and her ears are popping, can you not give a child some slack ?! What happened to compassion and empathy.

So we got in Schiphol intact and didn’t make friends whatsoever, I must say the Dutch likes their queues,  massive queue here and there and grumpy tall Dutch people everywhere. Does it really hurt to smile when your working at the airport?! Anyway oh the joy we felt after passport control until we had the scariest experience ever, losing our child in the sea of people in baggage claim and customs! 

15 fucking minutes he was gone, 15 fucking minutes! Those were the longest 15 minutes ever! Won’t go into details how we lost our precious child (because it will open up new comments and topics on how Irresponsible we are!), anyway he was picked up by a lady from the KLM, and upon hearing them speak Dutch he proudly said I am (his name), I speak Dutch and I speak English,  I lost my mommy and daddy, can you please call my mommy her number is in my coat! Once we found him I couldn’t stop crying and it just came into reality the worst nightmare a parent can experience! But I am super proud of him for remembering all the things we taught him, all the while we thought he wasn’t even paying attention, this just shows that he really is and he took the situation calmly and he thought of every single thing to say so he can be reunited with us! Super proud but nerve wracking moment.

So now we got him a buddy tag, so my phone alarm sounds when he goes further than the safety net. So that gives us peace of mind!

FYI.  We are not Irresponsible we try our best to be there for them all the time.

Always ex-KAI-ted to see him

In my previous post I told you briefly about my other baby Kai. He is the most beautiful boy and he has a special place in our family. Mind you I’m super in love with this boy, super duper!

Kai has NKH (non ketotic hyperglycinemia), it is extremely rare and only affects 1 child in every 60,000 born. Nkh is caused by a defect in the genetic code machinery, so in short children with this disorder cannot break down the amino acid glycine. As we were taught in our science class in school amino acids are natural components of our baby. So since glycine is not broken down it then accumulates in the body,and glycine is a super important molecule in the brain  where it has various functions such as transmitting signals from one cell to another (brain cell). So since there is a build up of glycine, it disrupts the function of the brain.

Kai is a very special boy, he is very handsome, cheeky (as he takes his socks all the time), he makes those very cute noises that makes you say aah how adorable he is, he has the most ridiculous cheeks they are so cute if only I can bite and squeeze them! (I’m sorry Kai, I can’t help it), he has the most beautiful smile ever, his smile is heart melting.

If you have a spare change, if you can donate just a small amount,  if you can fundraise,  every little thing helps. So what if you don’t know them, so what if you haven’t met them, we can help and we can make a difference. It’s not a waste of help, it goes somewhere and that money we raise and donate goes to funding a cure for nkh.

These beautiful children deserves a bright future, and their future is in the horizon. Please donate and help us raise money to find a cure, think how beautiful Kai is and think the life he deserves, nobody deserves nkh, nobody deserves to suffer, not Kai, not anybody else.

http://www.teammikaere.com
http://fundnkhcure.com

Loving our friends

Yesterday we met up with friends, it was lovely and although we wanted to stay some more it was nearing the kids witching hours,  so we thought we’ll save some stories for next time.

We love seeing our friends, how we miss our friend Larry and we just want to make sure everything is okay with him. He’s been our friend for a long long time but we’ve been super busy with our lives that we haven’t seen each other for nearly a year. So yesterday was a good day, the children enjoyed his company and we had lunch together and it felt like the old times.

Then after lunch we met up with our friends and their beautiful baby boy, his name is Kai and I tell you he is the most handsome boy you’ll ever meet, with those beautiful blue eyes. Ah! I can’t stop looking and loving him, how adorable he is and I got to cuddle him!(super proud!). 

Our children loves them so much especially their brother from another mommy. It’s amazing how fast they grow up, it’s amazing how beautiful they are. It was my first time properly meeting Elly and Sam but oh my goodness they are very kind, loving and warm people. I know I’ve been such a crazy stalker, you know stalking about their lives (because i fell in love with Kai) but I admire these guys so much, with all the things they went and going through, they have lots of positivity in their lives amidst all the challenges they are facing.

If you guys can help, spare a few dollars, or pounds or whatever is your currency, you know every little thing helps, please help us raise money to fund research for nkh (non ketotic hyperglycinemia), please help us find a cure for every child who has this disorder. These children are precious. These children are fighters. These children deserves a better future. These children deserves a cure.

Here is the link for their story so you guys can see how beautiful Kai is, trust me you’ll fall in love with him too:

http://www.teammikaere.com/

To the friend I thought I had

This won’t be walking down memory lane, this won’t be easy as I loved you like a family. But things change, everything moves on, we make mistakes and grow from them…and it seems you are stuck in the same person you are way way back time. 

We don’t share the same banters, we don’t share the same sense of humour anymore, I don’t take your criticisms as well as I should have, like we were still teenagers going to young adults, I have grown and I outdid you in that aspect. You may be stuck in your bubble holding your grasp tightly to a friendship we once had, we thought we manage to fuck-proof our friendship, but overtime I don’t think I still know you. We both moved on.

We walked different lanes, we chose different fields, along the way we may have met in one or two cross roads but just like other people we moved on and found ourselves in an awkward position. We were completely different people, like perfect strangers trying to find similarities, but as we try to rejuvenate whatever is left in our friendship we found ourselves finding more differences and becoming more distant as ever.

Fast forward a husband, and two children later. I am in a better position, I have the best man and he is my best friend too. But everytime we try to ride our old raft and try to be friends we end up sinking in the bottom, that’s because we failed to realise that we have different priorities, we moulded ourselves to become different people, and with each new set of priorities the new person standing in front is not the same fuck proofed person we thought we had.

I was offended with your constructive criticisms, from calling my children names, and for criticising our parenting style. You see, when you have children everything changes, it becomes difficult, you actually grow rather than stuck in that stupid bubble you are in. How dare you criticise me and my family when you are not perfect yourself, how dare you tell me things when you have not a single clue of what is going on with my life, how dare you be in my life! 

I tried putting up with your merry jolly antics all these years, but man you stepped a little too far whatever your tiny brain can reach. How dare you be in my life just please get the hell out, I’m not going to name shame you because that is wrong,but you know who you are and you fucked me up so badly.