I never had problems fitting in, because I never intended to include myself in those social circles where in the long run you lose your own identity. I never had lots of friends, I choose or I lose. Don’t get me wrong I am a friendly person but I’m a very finicky one. I like hanging out with people whom I share common interests, conversations or banters.
Since having children, I feel like I have to be in social circles for my children to gain friends, I felt terrible with my common mom appearance, with my diet and just my physical overall appearance, so basically I have insecurities. I’ve been so insecure about my tummy because somebody would point out (everytime) it hasn’t gone down as much as it should have been, you see I had cesarean section and it takes a while until I can do extreme exercises again. Don’t get me wrong I do exercises at home, I live healthily (except for cheat days), I am sane and normal.
There are days I feel like I should be a corn on the cob, with neatly tucked hair with smooth and neat skin, but most days I feel like I’m a potato, I feel odd, I feel rough, I feel prickly and bumpy. But slowly I’m learning to let go of the bring back the old me or bring back the pre pregnancy body, I’m slowly loving my self, my tiny bod and my imperfect skin. Slowly I’m learning to stop caring and just be myself again. Plus everybody or most of us loves potatoes right, you know French fries (chips), crisps (love them), mash ( yup!) And much more. I mean being a potato isn’t so bad after all, you’re fat (yeah so?!), but you get more love from everybody. I just have to accept that after having two children I just have to accept my imperfections because I got two perfect babies, that I should not expect to look like somebody from bay watch or jersey girls (is there such a thing?!).
I know I’ve been moaning a lot about my children, as I’ve said we have a love and hate relationship, but that makes parenting interesting, we make contradicting points. My children can be the worse on some days but they mean the world to us. Especially when they fail to see our imperfections, because for them we are the prettiest (even if we look rough, no combing, no sleep), the bravest (although I admit I’m terrified of massive spiders), the sweetest ( even we shout and have those temper tantrums too) and the best (mommy or daddy) in the world.
I love how our children sees us differently than the world around portrays us. I love how simple their world is. I am learning from my children and I’m learning to see the world in their eyes. I’m getting there and I’m trying to ignore all these insecurities, I’m learning to discover and reinvent myself. I don’t have to prove anything from people, I just have to be the best I can be for my self and for my family.
P.s : love your mommy bod too, they are not as bad as they look 😊
Write soon 😘😘😘😘😘