I know when you are pregnant you get teary, moody, grumpy, and all sorts of bipolar emotions. But man! I’m no longer pregnant and I’m still hormotional. I so hate it, it’s not good because I’m becoming like a mental mom.

Or is it because the newborn baby bliss is gone and the sleepless nights really wearing me down, but but but..my newborn sleeps well and my toddler wakes up once but wakes up in the ass crack of dawn, jesus almighty have mercy on my poor soul.

Or is it because I spend my evening revising and taking up course after course after course to keep my brain going, that’s right I love learning new things but the thing is I am pushing myself too much to the point of becoming so competitive to my lovely,  SELF! And the next day I feel so tired and my only solution is to drink more CAFFEINE! Well of course I cannot blame the coffee for making me super alert then downhill towards the witching hours of my children. I rage, and I weep in my own shortcomings but who else to blame but my own insane self. That’s right I am to be blamed.

Or is it because I am feeling the cabin fever, because it’s winter I cannot let my sick children get ill after a bout of sickness just for my own selfish reason of going out. I love going out it calms me down, it clears my head but these days when L gets ill, shortly after recovering , A gets it. Oh F my life all I want is to go out and get some fresh air. Good thing we have a garden, I can get a breather now and again but but but I have to be weary of nosey neighbours checking out what we are up to. Ugh! Can they just not mind their own world I have my own to worry about.

I feel so guilty when I rage towards L and G, but hey I’m not a perfect mom I have bipolar moods too you know. I cannot say I can be an angel all the time, I am me and bipolarity is a part of me.
Anyway, these days I’ve been doing a bit of home exercises as my wound isn’t completely healed so I have to take it easy. Also, I am enjoying my course in educational psychology it’s really interesting to learn a different subject.

These shortcomings are temporary I will soon learn to deal with my hormotional moments if only I  can teach myself and my hormones to cooperate.

For now breathe in, breathe out, deep breathe 1,2,3..out again ahhh..feels cathartic.😊

Write soon 💖💗💙💚


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